Fuel the Fear

Review Written By: Gaius Bolling

Release Date: February 2, 2001

I didn't really plan on reviewing this film just yet but it came on HBO last night and I just had to write about it while it was fresh on my mind. "Valentine" definitely showed that the shine was coming off the teen slasher genre that was rejuvenated with the release of "Scream" back in 1996. "Valentine" doesn't really offer much in the way of suspense and you can tell that everyone involved is merely going through the motions. Perhaps this was just a paycheck for all involved but a little effort would've been appreciated. Jamie Blanks directed this film (he also directed "Urban Legend") and while that film was no masterpiece, at least it was made with some flair. "Valentine" feels like a straight to DVD production, cheap in every way.

The premise is that the once publicly humiliated guy from a school dance back in middle school has decided to unleash 13 years of pent-up rage against those who offended him the most grievously. (Imagine having a school dance be the defining moment in your life...) So he sends them creepy valentines, then stalks and kills them one-by-one. With a lone exception, they're all bitches, so we don't feel much sympathy for them as they are systematically dispatched. The aforementioned exception is Kate, played by Marley Shelton, who could easily be described as the "warm and caring one". In fact, her turn-down when asked to dance was easily the nicest: "Sorry, Jeremy, not right now. Maybe later."

"Valentine" has a very 80's slasher film premise but it doesn't utilize it to its fullest advantage. The original "Prom Night" is what sprung to mind while watching this film again and true, "Prom Night" isn't a cinematic classic but at least it's fun and the whodunit aspect is pretty well played. THey both deal with kids who did crappy things when they were younger and are now being stalked and punished for it now that they're older. The difference is, "Valentine is deadly-dull". It slowly lumbers from one scene to the next without any real suspense or intrigued. Imagine if the Lifetime network was making horror films and then you can truly imagine how "Valentine" unfolds. Director Jamie Blanks showed some flair with "Urban Legend" but that's completely missing here. If not for the occasionally creepy killer in the cupid mask, I would forget I was even watching a scary movie.

Speaking of the killer in the creepy cupid mask, that's the only thing remotely chilling about the film. The mask has this porcelain appearance that is completely expressionless and it put to effective use on occasion. It sort of reminded me of the blank stare on the mask used in the "Halloween" series. Too bad that's the only frightening thing about the killer. He really just walks from one stalk sequence to the night and he never really is physically imposing. There are some chase scenes to be had with the killer but they're not suspenseful and they're actually pretty boring.

The actors pretty much embarrass themselves with a couple of exceptions. Marley Shelton is the slasher film required female heroine and she does what she can with the material. She benefits from being the nicest person in the film and she doesn't come off as one note or bitchy. I'm sure she'd like to forget she was in this but the small miracle is that she doesn't embarrass herself. Also worth a mention is Denise Richards as Paige. This isn't some acting tour de force but she can vamp it up with the best of them and she does a good job doing it here. She's pretty good eye candy and she has some sass to boot. Plus her encounter with the killer is one of the better scenes in the film and it's probably the only truly exciting moment in the film. The rest of the actors aren't doing their best work. David Boreanaz, who has done some good work on "Buffy, "Angel", and "Bones", is virtually useless here. He really looks like he's sleepwalking through the part and appears to have only done it because he was bored during a hiatus from "Angel". He also has very little chemistry with Marley Shelton. I felt it on her end but it felt blank on his. Jessica Capshaw and Jessica Cauffiel play the same kind of bitch but one is more confident and the other is more insecure but they're both equally unlikable. Then there is Katherine Heigl, long before her days on "Grey's Anatomy", who shows up here during a very terrible opening scene. I will say she looks good but she's quickly forgettable. At least she can look back on this and look at her career now and give a sigh of relief.

In the end, "Valentine" is completely forgettable. It was clear by the time this came out that horror needed to be rebooted, yet again. If you do need to see a Valentine's Day based horror film I suggest you invest in My Bloody Valentine (the original or the 3D remake). You'll have much more fun with those. I guarantee you.

Trivia:

In one scene, Kat tells Dorothy that her boyfriend, Adam Carr (David Boreanaz), is 'no angel'. This is, of course, referring to Boreanaz's hit TV series, Angel (1999).
In the original cast, Tara Reid who also starred in Jamie Blanks's first film, Urban Legend (1998), was to play Dorothy Wheeler.
This project originally began at Artisan Entertainment with producer Dylan Sellers with a different director and cast members, one of them including Tara Reid.

Hedy Burress, (Ruthie) originally auditioned for Jessica Capshaw's role of Dorothy. Jessica Cauffiel originally auditioned for Denise Richard's role of Paige.
During the original casting process, Tara Reid played "Dorothy Wheeler' (now played by Jessica Capshaw) and Jennifer Love Hewitt played "Paige Prescott" (now played by Denise Richards).
David Boreanaz shot his entire character role (Adam Carr) in less than two weeks.
The role of Lily Voight was expanded to suit the talents of Jessica Cauffiel, according to filmmakers.
Richard Kelly was originally offered the chance to direct, but turned the offer down.
Shot in 42 days.
Katherine Heigl had only 3 days to shoot her scenes. She was already committed to TV's Roswell (1999).
At a cost of $10 million this is the cheapest film to ever have a Superbowl spot.
Katherine Heigl didn't read the whole script before accepting her role. In a 2005 magazine interview, she said she regretted the decision after seeing the final cut of the film.

Director Jamie Blanks later said in an interview, "Forgive me for [Valentine]. A lot of people give me grief for that, but we did our best."

The film is loosely based on the novel of the same name by Tom Savage.

Valentine made $20,384,136 domestically and a further $16,300,000 internationally.

Review: Valentine (2001)